Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Spring Starts--Hope You are Well


Empire State Building shined yellow and white tonight, for the color of Tulip, since it is the start of Spring. I was watching Magnolia, again, last night, and I was thinking of you. You said you like that movie. I do too. It makes me want to write to you.

So I am writing to you now on this day, on my blog.

The sound track reminded me of our time together. Two years ago today, we were making love at the start of the Spring when the length of day equals the length of night. Maybe we should not have. But I love the way you made love to me. Maybe it is sexuality. What is wrong with that?

Maybe it is wrong when I was asking for more, when I smile to myself when I think of you and miss you when we are not together. I know I love you more than just the love making, so much more. And you loved me, as much as you can. Yet I need reassurance from you, like all woman do.

We don't have to spend rest of our life together, just love now; just make love now. That is why it is not healthy. I conflict myself. I want them all.

Hope you are doing well.

I was going to ask you do you want to come to Asia with me some time in the future. Are you relieved that you were not asked. Your home is here. I am not an East Coast New Yorker like you are; I am not even a West Coast New Yorker. I am a Chinese New Yorker and not from Chinatown, thus the more blunt or foreign, once more fun. The red.

Is the dynamics wrong because I don't process well what you say when you say it, in bed or not in bed, in your own way; and I don't say what I really want, yet cranky for not getting it. What a mess. I am sorry. I apologize like a well mannered boring Asian does. But I don't apologize for wanting to be with you, or being me.

But something never changes, like the day when Spring comes, the length of day equals the length of night.

5 Comments:

Blogger -J said...

Poor guy.

8:39 AM  
Blogger New York Red said...

I had to agree with you.

How tiring. My type, if there is more than one of me, in certain way, should be extinct as well like many others...

12:42 PM  
Blogger The Obscure said...

There is nothing wrong in asking what you want. The other person can always say "No". Then you know it's time to move on for what you are looking for. Never be discouraged by the "No" and start to doubt who you are. You will find what you want. Maybe not here, but it will be somewhere.

10:02 PM  
Blogger New York Red said...

Thanks for the comment. Obscure.

But it is not just about asking and refusing of giving. It is also how two people feel comfortable with the way being loved by the other one.

It is a sentimental post. We both have to be happy people, and then be happy in a relationship as well.

I used to believe great love got to be difficult. It does not have to be. As J indicated.

But I love with my heart, I don't regret any bit of it.

10:38 PM  
Blogger Geoffrey Hirschfeld said...

Never regret, always remember and cherish. Always! No matter the person, no matter the circumstance, always remember.

By the way, It is a good thing that there are more that are like you, in that sentimentality is not a bad thing.

7:50 PM  

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