Saturday, December 03, 2005

Re-living Sex and the City


That's the thing about Manhattan, the most exclusive clubs only have a couple members and they're very hard to find. -Carrie

"Sex with an ex can be depressing. If it's good, you don't have it anymore; if it's bad, you just had sex with an ex." -Samantha

"That's another reason I love New York. Just like that, it can go from bad to cute." -Carrie

"Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me." -Samantha

"The only one who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship." -Miranda

"Do we need distance to get close?" -Carrie


One fellow blogger whose stories and writing I immensely enjoy, wrote in his comment on my latest posting: "What is it that Lennon said, "Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans". And it is when you start living this life that you are truely alive and yourself."

Yes, it is John Lennon, Geoffrey. I was listening to this song the other day and thanks for your thoughts.

Or as Carie in Sex and the City said: life happens in New York City when you are busy waiting for tables. That is equally true.

I make plans and wait for it to happen. Life passes when I am busy waiting.

After a frustrating week at work, involving potential of me firing someone and account loss, a Thursday night birthday party at a Spa in Brooklyn that was very fun but ended with me throwing up outside my building at midnight, continued silence from you and me wondering of how have you been, I decided not to bey busy waiting for the plans you never make.

As Carie said again: there are endless things you could do in this city, a city perfect for single girls, or girls whose men are just not available for some time, want to be left alone.

Last Wednesday, as an anger outlet from work, I went to the Gym for 30 minutes and caught up with a rerun of Sex and City on TBS, an episode from the fourth season. It put me in the mood.

Friday night I opened a bottle of wine, leaving the bottle of Scotch you brought untouched, lying in my Midtown apartment in pajamars, watching my pirate DVD of Sex and the City. I picked up where I stopped of the fourth season, when it was all still so fun and bright and right to the point.

Living in the city and watching this felt totally different from when I used to watch it on the Jersey side. When Carie scream: it is far, it is New Jersey far. I laughed my socks off. I came from China, for God's sake.

So when the city was right outside my window with its millions of restaurants and bars and people drinking, dating, talking, falling in love, making love and having fun, I was watching it playing out on my Plasma tv, right in the middle of all these. Am I missing it? Or I just want to take a small emotional break from my big, crazy New York Love.

The episode when Carie needs to take bus for the first time in order to save money cracks me up. My high stressed agency work does not seems that promising financially, although seems promising to drive me mad, which could be a solution as well.
It is fun also to try to figure out which street corner were they standing, which restaurant were they sitting at, recognizing feels close. Since when I have fall in love with this place so deep, so irreversable?

I laughed when those funny and bitter comment about emotions and its twin sister-sex were made, espeically by Carie and Samantha. And I was crying so hard on the last episode when Big was leaving New York. I thought this is a comedy or maybe it is just me and you.

I missed you.
Oh shut the F up already, as Samantha would say.

And the scene that they two rode in the park bankrupted my plan of getting you out of my mind. I remembered that rainy night back in Oct when we rode in the park. Luckier than Carie and Big, we made love and none of us was leaving the city, yet.

"I alwasy wonder where do they go when these people leave New York?"

Some place where they will miss this city, I guess.

If smooth relationship scares people, our rocky one should make me feel hopeful of something real. Why I need assurance, even after you said again and again that you love me.

I loved the scene when Carie left Big on the big night to be with Miranda in Mount Senai. I love friendship like that, it must feel good to leave someone you love to support someone else you love in a different way, to feel being needed.

To love and to give in so many different ways are what make our existence meaingful. I miss you, I also miss my friends. I have too many of them being so far away from me at this moment.
The other day I got a fortune cookie that said: A man should be judged on how much he can give, instead of how much he can accept. I find that relevant. Don't know why it sounds like it is taken straight from the scipt of Sex and the City.

I remembered the month of May, you were in your cycle of close off, I was in the park, trying to reach you, with no success. I called my friend who was due in that week. She was in Mount Senai hospital, just had a baby, a week earlier. I was in lot of pain, but seeing that baby the first day she was born and being with my friend made me feel very happy and proud. They supported me, so was the city.

And I have forgotten so lo0ng all the beautiful things that a girl was entitled to love besides man (or woman): shoes and bags. When Carie made that big statement to the Vogue editor: I may not know so much about man, but I do know about shoes!" I feel as empowered and thrilled, although owning much less, much much less of 400$ designer shoes.
We live only once. We love maybe twice or a few more.

Beautifully crafted shoes and bags are just as lovely, and, arguably as fulfilling as good books that touch our heart (especially at time of difficult relationships I may add). You alwasy joke that I am materialistic like all the other Asian. To that, I say: we never owned anything for the past 50 years thanks for communism, time for becoming human again, thank you very much!
No, I am only truly materialistic with those produced from heart and soul, rare ones, priceless ones.

At the end of the night, which was 3 am in the morning, my chin hurting from laughing and my eye poping for crying, after half bottle of red wine, and I tried to push the thought of you to the edge of my mind and to hide the pain of heart at the deepest corner, I made a resolution to myself: I will redeem myself by making a plan with my other true love, the one I have ignored long enough: this great city.

I have a long list to accomplish, but immeidate choices were Van Gogh drawing in Metropolitan museum or shoe shopping in Barney's and/or anything else window shopping along Madison Ave.

The sex part is another ride for another day. Currently Van Gogh's drawing is my only plan to get intimate with a man tomorrow, tentatively, even he has been dead for hundreds of years--true love is timeless.
To say that to a dead artist means pressure for no one, let's leave it at that.

6 Comments:

Blogger Thomas said...

I love this show.

Want to watch a SATC marathon with me one day, Red?

3:01 PM  
Blogger New York Red said...

That sounds good. When you come to New York, we can have a SATC marathon party. It snowed today....I am putting on my hat and go take a walk now.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

I may just have to find my way there someday.

10:46 PM  
Blogger Geoffrey Hirschfeld said...

First of all, thank you for the comment. I had a bugger of a physical day(It was Hay day, and we got about 3000 lbs of hay, 24 bales and it is really physical work-to top it, I am STILL sick), and it is nice to know I am appreciated. Much love from the westcoast!

I loved your fortune cookie, " A man should be judged on how much he can give, instead of how much he can accept." That is an amazing statement, and it is really true.

BTW-just because you like "stuff" doesn't mean you are materialistic. I think that if I had to live under 50 years of a modified socialistic dictatorship, as well as the pogroms of the Cultural revolution, 3 wars(including Tibet), and then being thrown into the stew of American life, I would totally be into stuff too! I love my stuff, and like you, I treasure my treasure-but I am assuming that I, like you, I treasure my family and friends more than a box. You can own all of the purses in the world, but unless you have photos to put in them of your friends or children or family(I have a photo of my brother and my horse in my wallet, so you understand where I am going with this), you really have nothing to carry with you. Memories fit into those purses, those boxes we call our lives.

So you know what I say? Buy as many of those purses as you can, and fill them with New York. Remind yourself that life is really happening all around you, and that you are just a vivid colour on a beautiful canvass, moved by deft brushstrokes.In the beautiful gallery called New York.

Enjoy your walk-I am totally jealous of a walk in the snow. I live outside of Seattle on the coast of Washington, and it rarely snows here. Take care and again, thank you for the kind words! :)

2:07 AM  
Blogger New York Red said...

I was trying to be funny about the fact that my friend joked with me about Asian being more materialistic. I think appreciation of life and all the great things it has to offer is a positive thing, may it be the person we like, the horse or dog we love, the city we enjoy or a book, s baseball game or a pair of shoe. But the key is to value them differently, as you say, a box that can hold loving memories means more than a box with just jewels. And ultimately it is the heart that we want to fill with so much love and happiness. Thanks for your kind comment.

I love how you put it:you are just a vivid colour on a beautiful canvass, moved by deft brushstrokes.In the beautiful gallery called New York.

Thanks.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Thomas said...

How are you today, Red?

11:50 AM  

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