Wednesday, October 19, 2005


You told me the past Sunday night that you will give me anything I want for me to stay.

Anything, you mean? Is it the wine and Scotch and music of Beatles?

Do you really want this, or do you just feel weak?

Can't I be both? Very funny. It is typical you alright. I hit you on your head, but I hold you tighter.

Did I tell you I was happy and sad?

You want the decision to be out of your hand. But no, my baby, this is a decision you have to make and speak out loud.

You and I, we are both depressed people, we should not have a baby together. You then said.

Actually, I don't want a baby now, with you. It can not be the cause. Thus I had Plan B.

And only passionate people feel depressed.

I love you, I always do. You told me, looking into my eyes. We were hugging in bed. And you called my other name, the real one.

I love you too.

But I remembered your eyes went blank some time back, when we landed on the similar subject, unprepared and unplanned.

Were you scared then? Or you have known better, more true to youself?

Do you love me or just feel weak?

I had a dream the following night in which the two of us were driving a stolen 18 wheeler truck.

I am going to the library reading my Analysis of the Dreams and trying to have everything answered for my life.

Wish me luck.


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